General observations: Things seldom work out 40 years later like you thought they would when you imagined them as a '20-something'. Times change, new technologies emerge, old technologies disappear, some things that were very important to you in your 20's or 30's will hold no interest for you at all when you're in your 60's. Your tastes will evolve, as will your ideology. While the really big things such as your faith or love of family might remain constant, little else will. Even the 'life goals' you set for yourself and meet will likely prove to be of little long-term consequence.
The trick, of course, is to accentuate the positives and minimize the negatives. That's much easier said than done.
S
You mean you made mistakes?,,,Well I guess I made a few also. SOme are hard to call though aren't they...like what about a shitty marriage that brings three great kids?
ReplyDeleteJust keep trucking!
u r right on
cranky
I'm pretty happy with all the choices I've made, although I do wish we had been a little smarter with money earlier in our marriage. It would be nice to not be spending our middle age years paying down the debt of profligate youth.
ReplyDeleteBut I look back & think about what my life would have looked like if I'd not (on a total whim) decided to go to seminary, which is where I met Mike. What if (God totally forbid) I'd ended up marrying a man who really wanted children? No, over all, I'm pretty darn happy with my lot in life!
Bug...I'm not saying at any given time you can't be happy with where you are. (That's really cool that you are!) I just think that by the time you're in your 60's you can see things more clearly and realize that life has been hit and miss proposition. Just don't settle in mentally where you are now and with what you have now and think things will always be like that. Life evolves. Go with it, and don't always expect to hit home runs.
ReplyDeleteS
I'm hardly ever happy with the decisions I make. I tend to only remember the dumb things I've done.
ReplyDeleteI think I understand the point you're making. It's always difficult to understand the significance of choices we make at the time they're being made, but age and maturity provide a clarity that is often lacking in our youth. On the flip side, youth is often characterized by courage and a willingness to take chances. Older people are often afraid of change and overly cautious.
ReplyDeleteExcellent analysis Steve. I think one reason older people are often afraid of change and are overly cautious is that we realize we don't have 30 or 40 years left to put things back right. Mess up big time then and you'll probably never overcome it.
ReplyDeleteS
PT....I know it's difficult to do, but you need to remember the positives of your past as much as possible or else you'll drive yourself nuts thinking of your failures. No one bats 1.000, but no one bats .000 either.
ReplyDeleteS
I've enjoyed this discussion. Some good points all around.
ReplyDeleteTeen angst has nothing on the what-ifs of the middle and later aged. I'll just go with what I know now.
ReplyDeleteEven at the super awesome young age of 42 (almost) I have been known to look back and count the mistakes and wrong turns: didn't finish college, didn't fight to save my military career (out on a medical discharge), married 2 men I shouldn't have, etc, etc, etc
ReplyDeleteBUT
Were they really "mistakes"
Would I be married to the man I am today living the life I live today if those "mistakes" and "wrong turns" weren't made?
Life unfolds as it will. Right now at this very moment I have a wonderful life - a rather nice roof, a full pantry, vehicles that run and have fuel, a wonderful family and husband and dog, a job where I get to help people get jobs and get back on their feet financially - yeah life is pretty awesome